castalla
Major Contributor
Just check into any audiophile forum - laughs all the way over cables, plugs, etc.
Misc hi fi related humour
- Thread starter Burnside
- Start date
Zap Rekowski
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- Dec 15, 2024
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- 497
Where's the humourous part? 
Incognito
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- Joined
- Nov 27, 2024
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- 29
Recorded live in stereo May 2nd, 1959 with George Martin as producer. An excellent early high fidelity stereo recording! (ironic???)
Song Of Reproduction by Michael Flanders and Donald Swann
I had a little gramaphone
I wind it round and round
And with a sharpish needle
It made a cheerful sound
And then they amplified it
It was much louder then
And you sharpened fibre needles
To make it soft again
Today for reproduction
I′m as eager as can be
Count me among the faithful fans
Of high-fi-de-li-ty
High fidelity
Hi-fi's the thing for me
With an LP disc and an FM set
And a corner reflex cabinet
High frequency range
Complete with autochange
All the highest notes
Neither sharp nor flat
The ear can′t hear as high as that!
Still I ought to please any passing bat!
With my high fidelity.
Who made this circuit up for you anyway?
Bought it in a shop?
Ooh what a horrible shoddy job they fobbed you off with
Surprised they let you have it in this room anyway
The acoustics are all wrong
If you raise the ceiling four feet
Put the fireplace from that wall to that wall
You'll still only get the sterophonic effect if you sit in the bottom of that cupboard!
I see you've got your negative feedback coupled in with you push-pull input-output
Take that across through your red head pick-up to your tweeter
If you′re modding more than 8
You′re gonna get wow on your top
Try to bring that down through your preamp rumble filter to your woofer
What'll you get?
Flutter on your bottom!
High fidelity
FFRR for me
I′ve an opera here that you shan't escape
On miles and miles of recording tape
High decibel gain
Is easy to obtain
With the tone control at a single touch
′Bel Canto' sounds like ′Double Dutch'
Then I never did care for music much
It's the High Fidelity!
Song Of Reproduction by Michael Flanders and Donald Swann
I had a little gramaphone
I wind it round and round
And with a sharpish needle
It made a cheerful sound
And then they amplified it
It was much louder then
And you sharpened fibre needles
To make it soft again
Today for reproduction
I′m as eager as can be
Count me among the faithful fans
Of high-fi-de-li-ty
High fidelity
Hi-fi's the thing for me
With an LP disc and an FM set
And a corner reflex cabinet
High frequency range
Complete with autochange
All the highest notes
Neither sharp nor flat
The ear can′t hear as high as that!
Still I ought to please any passing bat!
With my high fidelity.
Who made this circuit up for you anyway?
Bought it in a shop?
Ooh what a horrible shoddy job they fobbed you off with
Surprised they let you have it in this room anyway
The acoustics are all wrong
If you raise the ceiling four feet
Put the fireplace from that wall to that wall
You'll still only get the sterophonic effect if you sit in the bottom of that cupboard!
I see you've got your negative feedback coupled in with you push-pull input-output
Take that across through your red head pick-up to your tweeter
If you′re modding more than 8
You′re gonna get wow on your top
Try to bring that down through your preamp rumble filter to your woofer
What'll you get?
Flutter on your bottom!
High fidelity
FFRR for me
I′ve an opera here that you shan't escape
On miles and miles of recording tape
High decibel gain
Is easy to obtain
With the tone control at a single touch
′Bel Canto' sounds like ′Double Dutch'
Then I never did care for music much
It's the High Fidelity!
Kblade97
Member
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2023
- Messages
- 96
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Would Amir's first thought be, "I wonder how those speakers measure?"
Norwegian entertainer and high speed guitar player Øystein Sunde wrote this song Byens Hifi-asyl in the late 1970s. I've run it through a translator and done some retouching:
Mornmorn, good day, good day, my name is Ståle Krapyl* (*Ståle Hooligan)
I'm the one who runs the city's hi-fi asylum
Actually I'm a plumber but I make more money
By standing around selling hi-fi than by standing around lubricating gangs
We bring in all the most expensive stuff from New York's hi-fi fair
Everything else sounds like shit and it's of no interest
But as a customer service that doesn't increase the price at all
Let them try our bidet while they look at brochures
Our store is in the city's nicest premises
The rent is expensive but it's the customer who pays
Yes, the people we want here are the ones who have so much money
That they buy much bigger stereo systems than they need
Here savings loans and stuff don't help much
But feel free to come by with your building loan account
Yes, come, come, come to Ståle Krapyl
We'll meet at the city's hi-fi asylum
We've developed our special sales technique
We send all new customers a condescending look
And ram them hard with business jargon
And lead them into the quadrophony lounge
There we play so loudly that they stand and gape
So that the fart turns at the door to come up and burp
But don't try and tell us what kind of system you have at home
Because then we'll laugh so hard that you'll never forget
That the one who knows anything about hi-fi here is Ståle Krapyl
And we other guys here at the city's hi-fi asylum
You know it's with stereo systems like it is with alcohol
You don't really get well until you've had a really bad time
You buy a system now and get nervous and penniless
But in half a year you'll get abstinence
Then you'll be standing in my shop again begging and asking me
If I don't want to be like that please sell me more
Then: dear Ståle! sell me some more!
Just a small FM tuner, please!
One with an oscilloscope and LED display
And a touch-sensitive threshold level
With power muting, I have to have it!
Deep-water regulator with four hectoliters of herring in the half barrel in each channel
If I don't get new speakers now, I'll throw myself into the sea
And hang myself from the bridge
Do you hear Ståle, I have to, I have to have more!
So so, yes yes my child
As long as I get money, you'll get yours
Shall we say 150 kroner per watt
Then we'll add a two percent cash discount
You know it's cheaper than opium but more expensive than marijuana
If you don't want it, there's a guy in Mo i Rana
Yes, your pusher, his name is Ståle Krapyl
And what you need, the city's hi-fi asylum has it!
Mornmorn, good day, good day, my name is Ståle Krapyl* (*Ståle Hooligan)
I'm the one who runs the city's hi-fi asylum
Actually I'm a plumber but I make more money
By standing around selling hi-fi than by standing around lubricating gangs
We bring in all the most expensive stuff from New York's hi-fi fair
Everything else sounds like shit and it's of no interest
But as a customer service that doesn't increase the price at all
Let them try our bidet while they look at brochures
Our store is in the city's nicest premises
The rent is expensive but it's the customer who pays
Yes, the people we want here are the ones who have so much money
That they buy much bigger stereo systems than they need
Here savings loans and stuff don't help much
But feel free to come by with your building loan account
Yes, come, come, come to Ståle Krapyl
We'll meet at the city's hi-fi asylum
We've developed our special sales technique
We send all new customers a condescending look
And ram them hard with business jargon
And lead them into the quadrophony lounge
There we play so loudly that they stand and gape
So that the fart turns at the door to come up and burp
But don't try and tell us what kind of system you have at home
Because then we'll laugh so hard that you'll never forget
That the one who knows anything about hi-fi here is Ståle Krapyl
And we other guys here at the city's hi-fi asylum
You know it's with stereo systems like it is with alcohol
You don't really get well until you've had a really bad time
You buy a system now and get nervous and penniless
But in half a year you'll get abstinence
Then you'll be standing in my shop again begging and asking me
If I don't want to be like that please sell me more
Then: dear Ståle! sell me some more!
Just a small FM tuner, please!
One with an oscilloscope and LED display
And a touch-sensitive threshold level
With power muting, I have to have it!
Deep-water regulator with four hectoliters of herring in the half barrel in each channel
If I don't get new speakers now, I'll throw myself into the sea
And hang myself from the bridge
Do you hear Ståle, I have to, I have to have more!
So so, yes yes my child
As long as I get money, you'll get yours
Shall we say 150 kroner per watt
Then we'll add a two percent cash discount
You know it's cheaper than opium but more expensive than marijuana
If you don't want it, there's a guy in Mo i Rana
Yes, your pusher, his name is Ståle Krapyl
And what you need, the city's hi-fi asylum has it!
You could have left the original last sentence and it would still have fit precisely: "Someone is WRONG on the Internet"!
This is no joke. It's a clear warning about the mistakes you should really avoid when buying your hi-fi ...
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Seen hint of the first Linn mass turntable. Working title Klimaks. Probably best for Hard Rock and Metal.
